renison@storyseekers event 03 » seasonal surprise for @venka
↳ She was not a lynx or a spider or even the Wraith. She was Inej Ghafa, and her future was waiting above.
Followêtre dans la lune@ betsydobsons#userchar // If you want even more aftg content, my side blog is @reneevvalker
the deep blue seathe noughties
renison
Anonymous sent:Okay but imagine Andrew in an all black ensemble, with black booty shorts, that, in silver sparkles, say the iconic 2000s word “juicy” on his ass
solavei replied:
in his defense, he was left unsupervised
betsydobsons sent:2 boys sharing an ice cream sundae
solavei replied:
it’s a date
if only i had thorns like a thistle
crvdencetheo loves blaise, and he knows it simply can’t be. and pansy realises there’s nothing she can say to make it right.
pansy&theo friendship ; thlaise | 1061 words | read in ao3
“i think i love blaise.” theo whispered, but his voice was so low pansy almost missed it, almost because she was more than used to theo’s habit of communicating by mumbles.
a
faint smile appeared on her face. of course she knew,
everyone with eyes on their faces knew how theo fancied blaise, and
how mutual the whole situation was, with blaise studying theo’s face
in the library with more dedication than any book he ever owned.
but
it was still theo. quiet, shy and reserved theo the one who made the
step about talking about it. whatever it was, it was troubling him
enough for making him
speak, and pansy wanted to honour that by letting theo do it his way.
so pansy didn’t really say anything, she just nodded and smiled, and waited for theo to go on with whatever his train of thoughts was. but, it seemed that it hit what he said just yet, and he started to flush, looking down, playing with the fabric of his trousers, and back to his mumbling, but this time, so low and so fast, not even pansy could catch what was all about.
misuseoftheforceI’m still disappointed to this day that Harry never got anything of Lily’s, that was just Lily’s, only Lily’s. Throughout the series it’s mentioned over and over again that he had her eyes and her protection from Voldemort and her ability to love. But he had James’ hair and his skills in flying and his bad eyesight. And he got to hold his father’s Invisibility Cloak in his hands and his map and his mirror he used to talk to Sirius. And for a short while, he had his father’s friends too, who undoubtedly were friends with Lily as well. But when you think of the Marauders you think of James. The only thing of Lily’s he really even got to hold was part of a letter she had written to someone else. And he reacted so profoundly to it too! He was in awe of a piece of paper that his mother had held, that had a message she had written, had chosen every word of and written down. I just wish Harry had had something tangible to hold, to marvel at, to take down from a cabinet one day and kneel down in front of his children and say “this was my mother’s”
lordvoidemort@slytheringirlsgang & @snakepitnet event: lightening era girls
astoria greengrass
Poor, soft, naïve, Astoria Greengrass. So in love with the aesthetic of love, so in love with the idea of love, that life passed her by without her ever noticing. She spent her first years at Hogwarts chasing after romance, and she never even knew what she was chasing after. She spent many nights wondering why beautiful male Quidditch players appeared in her dreams along side beautiful female Quidditch players, and why she was happiest when she didn’t have to choose who to love. These questions were quite confusing for a 13-year-old girl navigating pre-pubescence.
When Astoria was 16 years old, she decided it was time to fall in love. Poor Astoria, with her refusal to stay within House boundaries, and her romanticized notion of enemies-to-lovers, chose Ron Weasley to seduce. Needless to say, he neither noticed her existence, nor would have ever wanted to pursue her, and she departed the sad situation with a misunderstanding of what a broken heart was.
Soon after Ron, Astoria decided that maybe men were not for her. She seemed to shy away whenever they even made eye contact to her, much to most of her friends’ chagrin. She’d never tell her friends, but maybe she simply wasn’t straight. So she set her sights on Cho Chang. Naïve Astoria, not understanding that not all women were interested in other women; that even if they were, if they were as popular as Cho Chang, they’d never give Astoria the time of day. She slunk away from that experience, no one ever the wiser that she’d sought after a woman.
Soft Astoria. Sweet, soft Astoria. Seeing as neither men nor women seemed to be up her alley, she tried to love herself. No one ever romanticized the romance of falling in love with yourself, and she figured one day, if she loved herself completely, it would be enough. Aesthetic be damned.
Where to Buy Drugs at Hogwarts (A Case Study)
jaykaylolling
Wizard school can be hard. Who could blame students (and hey–at least a few members of the staff) from dipping into their own personal potion’s cabinet to get through the day?
So, for the Witch or Wizard that’s tryna get turnt up this OWL season, look no further. Here’s J.K Lolling’s Unofficial Harry Potter Drug guide to help you through all those pesky exams.
_________
WEED: HUFFLEPUFF COMMON ROOM
Based on the ease with which the J.K Lolling team found the above gif, it’s clear the the “Hufflepuff as the weed house” this is not a new idea. Where better the buy your bud than a house full of amateur herbologists? Seriously, you know that Professor Sprout is pushing some straight-up dank on the side. And it makes sense that Hufflepuffs would be stoned as hell because that would explain why they’re never really doing anything. If you’re ever reading HP and you stop for a minute to think, “damn I haven’t seen a Hufflepuff in like…seven chapters” that’s because they’re in their dorm getting high as shit and being generally chill toward each other. Hufflepuffs are generally nice and “unafraid of toil.” I’d be unafraid of toil too if I was high as balls off some legitimately magical nug. Think of all the times your dealer claims the shit he’s pushing is magic. Now imagine that that was actually true. Where would you be all the time?
That’s right. You’d be in your room eating pasties and not realizing that Voldemort is totally like, alive again and might have just killed the only person in your house who put the J down for long enough for people to notice him. You’d do this for a few years until one night you’re mid-way through a fat ass blunt when Professor Sprout comes running in and tells you that the school is “under attack” and you all “have to leave.” Damn. Buzzkill.
I’d like to propose that the only question on the Pottermore Sorting Quiz be, “yo, tryna burn?"
If you answer yes, welcome to Hufflepufff. The kitchen is down the hall.
ADDERALL: THE RAVENCLAW COMMON ROOM
Muggles and wizards aren’t so different. They fight. They fuck. They fall in love. They take adderall so that they can stay up all night and miraculously memorize and entire semester’s worth of material. It’s beautiful when you think about.
It makes sense that if you were looking for a little study pick-me-up that you’d go to the Ravenclaws. Sure, Ravenclaws are naturally clever but if I were naturally clever I’d almost certainly be down to put some powder in my nose that would make me naturally clever-er. Like, what was it that the diadem of Ravenclaw does again? Oh, it "increases the wearers intelligence?” I know of something else that does that, and it’s a lot less expensive and easier to find (and explain) than an enchanted lost tiara. (“Ummmm Professor I am SO not cheating! My doctor prescribed this tiara for my ADD!”)
Ravenclaws are obvious speed freaks because who other than a speed freak would be down to stand outside their warm bedroom answering riddles all night instead of just having one password to remember? No one. No one other than a speed freak would want to do that.
Ravenclaws are also good at charms, and I have been told (by a police officer, no less!) that when I’m on adderall I am fucking charming. The Ravs may seem aloof, but that’s just because they popped an addy, locked themselves in their dormitory, and started memorizing/coloring in all the ‘o’s in Hogwarts, A History.
They’re almost done. It’s only been one hour.
GRYFFINDOR - ALCOHOL, LOTS OF IT
Gryffindors are the frat bros of Hogwarts, and they probably have been from the beginning of time. Think about it. Alcoholism is the answer to every question you’ve ever had about Gryffindor.
How are Gryffindors so brave? Take 5-10 shots of Firewhiskey. You’d be surprise how many curses to the face you can take.
Nearly Headless? How can you be Nearly Headless? Get drunk. Try to behead someone. See how that goes.
Alcohol is perfect for Gryffindors because if they got too into weed the wizarding world would be in some serious trouble when it needed saving (“We need to get what? The Sorceror’s Stone? Stone? Stoned? I want to get stoned. Hermione do you have any weed?”) and tbh Ron does not need anymore excuses to be eating. The last thing Harry needs is an obese sidekick.
That being said, with Gryffindors getting totally shithoused every weekend, it’s likely that all manner of gillyweeds, powdered unicorn horns, and liquid lucks make their way through the common room every weekend, but it’s likely that none of the Gryffindors can remember what it is, what it does, or how it got there.
Woah, Ron, did we talk to a disembodied head in the fireplace last night? I can’t remember. Also I threw up in Neville’s trunk.
SLYTHERIN - COKE, DESIGNER DRUGS, AND OTHER EXPENSIVE, SCARY SHIT
Sneak down to the Slytherin dungeon if you’re looking to pay your entire life’s savings to put something in your mouth and “see what happens.”
Here is a transcription of a conversation I imagine going on in the Slytherin common room basically every day:
What is this called again? XBI2750? What does it do—ooh look the pill has a lil snake on it that’s so cute here’s thirty galleons let’s do this thing!
Seriously, what people don’t realize about the Harry Potter series is that while we were upstairs with the Gryffindors following Harry’s drunken escapades, there was another movie/book combo playing out deep beneath the halls of Hogwarts and that movie/book combo is called Party Monster.
This is how HP Wiki describes the Slytherin common room:
“The common room is a dungeon-like room with greenish lamps and chairs. This dungeon extends partway under the lake, giving the light in the room a green tinge. The common room has lots of low backed black and dark green button-tufted, leather sofas; skulls; and dark wood cupboards. It has quite a grand atmosphere, but also quite a cold one. The password to the common room changes every fortnight, and it is posted on the noticeboard...”
If that doesn’t sound like a coked-out rave dungeon to you then you’re not hanging out at the right coked-out rave dungeons.
Also, I would bet like, ten million galleons that Pansy Parkinson had a Slytherin necklace that she kept coke in like Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions.
MYRTLE’S BATHROOM- CRACK
Once again, the muggle world and the the magical world collide and the best place to buy crack is an out of order bathroom that is (literally) haunted by a super-pale weirdo that nobody really likes who preys upon sad, out-casted young people and orphans.
Also, some kind of scarring sexual advance is almost guaranteed.
HALLUCINOGENS - HAGRID’S HUT
Follow the spiders.
I’d love to have a Dragon.
You’re a wizard.
These are some of Hagrid’s most beloved quotes. These are also things someone who is high as balls tripping out on some moste potente potions would say.
Listen, if there’s one thing we know it’s that there is some seriously wild shit in the Forbidden Forest. And who do we know that’s constantly heading in there for long periods of time, befriending woodland creatures and occasionally bringing back various weeds and hairs and shit?
None other than our boy Hagrid. But, hey, no judgement. It takes a lot to forget even a brief stint in Azkaban. Do you, boo.
______
There you have it, students! The subject of Harry Potter and drugs has been poured over by many, many forums but we at J.K Lolling like to consider this the definitive end to the question. Just don’t tell Dumbledore you got it from me.
janeandthehivequeen (deactivated)Do y'all remember being a kid and trying to read in the car while it was dark outside and your parents wouldn’t let you turn on the light so you would try to grab snatches of sentences when you passed by street lights
acotar edit meme
mavencaloremaking this to keep my acotar edits organised but u can do it w me if u want!!
- 7 locations / the courts of prythian
- six characters
- five quotes
- four friendships/relationships
- three events
- two fae abilities
- one otp
alluroa sent:i would literally give up my firstborn child for another genderswap au bcos jane potter is so hot im deadt
jiilys replied:Jane, flirting, tells him his hair looks like a carrot fucked a fire hydrant.
“Charming.” Liam says.
“This is the part where you say something back and we verbally spar.” She responds, leaning with one muddy soccer boot up against the side of the library. McGonagall would have a fit. He puts his hands in his pockets and pretends to look at the street.
“Not today it isn’t.”
“C’mon,” she grins, ducking her head so her hair falls forward. “You’re making me feel bad. You’ve got to say something back otherwise it’s like bullying.”
“What do you mean ‘like’ bullying.”
“Please. If it was real bullying I would have your lunch money.”
“I don’t bring lunch money.”
“Good thing I’m not bullying you then.” She says, cheerfully, and he laughs. It appears halfway through this conversation he got bored with pretending to look at the road and has started actively staring at her again. He turns back.
“Your hair looks like you shoved a fork into a toaster.” He says, and she laughs now.
“’Knew you’d give in. Now we’re both bullying each other.”
He looks back at her. “I thought you said it wasn’t bullying.”
She smirks, soccer uniform covered in mud from making unnecessary slides across the pitch every time she makes a goal, which is often enough that he can see grass burn bleeding on her knees. He’s going to ask if she needs a bandage, and then she quirks her eyebrow at him, and he cannot for the life of him remember his name.
“Evans, you are aware I can see you ogling my legs.” Liam’s head snaps back to the street.
“I wasn’t ogling.”
“You bloody were.”
“I don’t ogle.”
“Fine. Staring. Gazing. Gawking, if you will.”
“I won’t.”
“Liam Evans, staring at my legs in front of everybody”
“There is no one else here.“
“You were ogling.” She pushes off the wall, arms folded and still smirking, advancing on him. “Perfectly understandable really, they are, dare I say it, the best legs this side of London.”
He scoffs, looking at the sky and not at her. “You’re so full of it.”
“I can’t help having great legs any more than you can help having hair that looks like a red traffic light threw up on Amy Adams.”
“Whose Amy Adams?” he feigns ignorance.
“I know you know who fucking Amy Adams is.”
He swings back on his heels. “Hmm, can’t say I do, but you had better watch your potty mouth or I’m going to report you to McGonagall.” He’s looking at her again. God goddammit.
“Minnie loves me.” She’s almost right next to him now, a good head shorter, bag over her shoulder, knees still bleeding. Her glasses are cracked in the left corner.
“She won’t once I tell her how you’ve been bullying me.” He says, and she smiles. The wind blows slightly, and God, she’s fucking pretty. His fingers itch to touch her jawline, the base of her throat, her cheekbone. There is always too much space between them.
“You know the library closes at six.” She breathes, looking at him, “and my practice ends at six-thirty.”
“I have no idea what you mean.” He lies, ridiculously.
“I mean,” her breath hitches, “You wait the extra half hour to see me.”
He wants to do something dumb, like kiss her or kiss her again, but she’s far too clever and pretty and he would have no idea where to put his hands. The world is impossibly still. His heart is thudding loud enough she must be able to hear it.
A car screeches into the street and reels up next to them, almost clipping the curb. “Potter!” Sarah Black sticks her head out the window and yells to be heard over the radio, “if you get mud on my seats again I’ll punch you in the tit!” Spotting Liam, she nods and takes a drag on her cigarette, “Evans. You’re here again.”
“Well spotted.” He croaks, trying to act normal and doing a bad job. Potter’s arm brushes against his on the way to the car and he shudders.
“Wanna lift?” Sarah asks, and he shakes his head. Jane stares at him through the passenger window, and he stares back. The only reason he comes to the library is to kill time before her practice ends. He would wait in the rain if he had to.
“Amy Adams was in Enchanted.” He blurts out, and Potter grins. He’s so far gone it’s embarrassing. He would do anything to make her look like that.
Black gives him a weird look. “Don’t take too many drugs on school grounds, Evans, Minnie doesn’t like you nearly as much as she likes me.” She peels away, almost taking out a letterbox in the process, and he starts walking home, thinking about how she has practice tomorrow, and the grass burns on her knees, and the way her breath hitches when she stands to close to him.
The streetlamps go on, and in the harsh light she roars into his head, laughing, covered in mud, a dream girl unbelievably rooted in reality.
teddylupniAAAAAAAKSJJSK i’m only 14 away from my next hundred!!!! thank you guys so much<333333
teddylupnionly 8 away now!!!!
realmaradyerA Series of Unfrotunate Events season 2 announcement from Lemony Snicket.
“I hope you’re happy,because you won’t be,ever again.”
